Woke Twitter ruins literature

When Democratic strategists rethink how awakened theology cost them key races in 2021 – not to mention the coming flood of mid-sessions – they’ll find out about #MSWL. Hidden on Twitter, this is one of the real sources of everything that blindly woke up, as the mighty Mississippi begins as a shallow stream. That’s part of the reason we have drag queens reading to our kids in public libraries and Virginia doesn’t have Terry McAuliffe as governor.

#MSWL is a hashtag meaning “handwritten wish list”. For anyone interested in fiction publishing, the road to a book contract is complex. Editors are not interested in reading manuscripts sent directly to them because most of them are really horrible. They will only consider reading those submitted by literary agents on behalf of the authors. These guards are forced to dig through mountains of garbage to find something that they can sell to a publisher and thus claim a commission. They’re sort of scavengers.

But agents don’t really want to read entire manuscripts because they are mostly horrible, so instead they ask for a query, a short summary in a prescribed format. But even these are so uniformly gruesome that most agents now just want to be introduced via tweet (this is called #PitMad, height madness). So for Grapes of Wrath, the author might have written: “After a dust storm, the next road trip out west sucks.” This is a bad way to assess anything more complex than directions to a 7-Eleven.

So agents now simply tell writers what to write about through the manuscript wishlist. That way, they’ll never see anything too original, hopefully.

Big agents don’t need to troll Twitter like monsters offering candy in the park. Instead, if you are a recent or maybe not so recent AmLit graduate who cannot work at the New Yorker because they stopped hiring Caucasians, you can be a Twitter agent.

On Twitter, the bulk of the agents are white women, straight or gay men, with a tendency to pink or blue hair, and liberal to the point where it hurts physically. Their bios (here is a typical one) seem to describe the same person, simply replacing Sarah Lawrence with Oberlin and Office Where Friends for “anything that has queer representation”. They love cats. They love coffee. They don’t like things, they “celebrate” them. They don’t promote women, they “promote” them. And they to hate racism, guys.

Just because their dreams were shattered when a high school band’s trumpeter turned out to be just plain weird, not gay, they want to take it out on your kids because they are looking to acquire literature almost exclusively. ” for young adults “, intended mainly for girls. Through the #MSWL, they only ask for books with BIPOC characters, or LGBTQIA + stories. They ask for marginal portrayal in storytelling and often combine themes, so the actual request is a fantasy magical realism story featuring ambiguous vampires who also excel on the lacrosse team.

Here is a real listing: “everything that happens on an HBCU campus, all the magical realism, the mythological tales, the love / romance stories, all the millennial joy and hardship of the adult.” Oddly enough, often their compositions – comparisons, things they want to see more of – are based on TV shows and movies instead of actual books. So it’s “send me the new one Avatar“, Not” send me a drama like Hamlet. “If they make the list Hamlet as a comp, that’s only because a version appeared on Netflix with Lady Gaga playing the prince. We ask for books that recall she computer games from Nancy Drew, seemingly oblivious to the iconic book series.

Some agents don’t even address the actual topic for a few sub-tweets, instead first with “First and foremost, I seek to partner with people from traditionally marginalized groups to help them make their voices heard. »Others ask for books that no one would ever want to read but which are based on buzzwords: “I would love to see more fantasy / paranormal urban romance that doesn’t rely on traditional government bureaucracy or law enforcement structures!” “

Sometimes budding writers Tweeter agents looking for more details, as in “What do you think about the unseelie take the form of conservative Christian preachers to spark the apocalypse? The agent replied, “I’m really, really picky about the apocalypse stories to be completely honest,” to which another potential writer replied, “Honestly, that was an element in a set idea. urban fantasy that I was fleshing out. Vampires had just emerged from a civil war where the old vampire patriarchs had been overthrown and a horde of female vampires were now in charge and both trying to figure out how to survive ethically.

Better write to that fast: “I want a story with this vibe: Three women found out that they were dating the same man. They dumped him and went on a road trip of several months together. Just lean on the fellowship and you will answer most #MSWL requests.

The agents and the remora-like writers around them have no idea how superficial it is to say that they “only want compelling books, with great characters and storylines” as they recently have. understood. They don’t know anything about hypocrisy, like how the demand for an ever-narrower topic list is supposed to support diversity, or how marginalizing some writers is a bad start in defending others. . Straight was boring until gay got scary and now that gay is boring he must be trans. Shallow is too deep a word to describe it all.

So when you wonder how we got out of Clifford the big red dog To to glide queens reading aloud children’s books on anal in public libraries, it starts with the #MSWL and its over-educated and undereducated agents acting as social justice shock troops. Never mind that most of their activities contribute little to social justice. The goal is to earn wellness points and prove they were sincere in this winter semester homosexual adventure, not just to experiment.

Awakening as a social illness is created and applied, starting small and young with things like #MSWL. And make no mistake, they are bitter and come for your children.

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